Mom2Mom Lounge

We all think it, we all say it, all the time. Don’t we? So why then are the latest generations of youth having so many difficulties? Why is teen depression, suicide, etc…all on the rise? Is it possible that in the quest to make sure a smile is plastered on our children’s faces every second of the day at the cost of our own ability to have a life, is actually making them UNhappy? A new book reveals this may just be the case.

I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy! Why you shouldn’t say it, why you shouldn’t think it, what you should embrace instead by Aaron Cooper, Ph.D. and Eric Keitel, M.Ed. This book explains why believing this mantra is mis-guided and what parents should be thinking and doing instead. Decades of research has shown there are 8 key elements found in authentically happy lives and this book explains how to cultivate these elements in their own children.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “what do you mean I shouldn’t want my kids to be happy???” Well obviously we all want our kids to be happy, but by embrasing that mantra and spending every waking moment making sure our kids are happy, we are really doing them a diservice.  Because here is what happens, we see our kids bored, we play with them, we come up with activities for them to do, we over-schedule them so they can never be bored. If they are not smiling, we question why they are not happy and give them whatever it is that will make them happy again. We basically send the message that we want to see them smiling all the time or else we are going to question what is wrong and try and fix it. Sometimes, it’s just because it the easy way…we break our own rules and give in to things we shouldn’t because it’s harder to enforce the rules and it’s going to upset them, we call that…picking our battles. Let’s face it, this culture we live in is all about instant gratification, we want it all, we want it now, but raising happy kids isn’t about the constant smiling faces of toddlers, it’s about setting the foundation that will make them happy adults.

I really enjoyed this book, that could be because I think I sort of knew this somehow all along. I’ve never been, although my kids are still very young, the kind of mom who was going to have them doing every activity imaginable. I am not the kind of mom who believes she has to spend every moment playing with my kids. I play with them, but they also spend a lot of time playing on their own. They built forts, and race, basically play very well independantly using their imagination. So yes, this book made a lot of sense to me and I learned quite a bit from it. It’s an easy read, although a complicated subject, it really breaks down to simple concepts that are easy to understand and put into action.

For more information about the book, to read an excerpt, or buy the book, please visit MyKidsHappiness.com.